contemplating

Another year has passed..
Getting older
And having less time to be spent in this world 

I think it is the time to contemplate
Time to look back
Look on what I have been doing to my self until today
I should start to make decision
Making up my mind
Making up my heart
I know I should go out from this never ending circle sooner or later
I don’t know can I go
I don’t know do I really want to go

But I do learn one thing today
That I shall not have any expectation
And also no hopes nor wishes
It is more safe that way

Happy birthday my dear me..
You are one more step closer to the maturity

suasana ramadhan

berawal dari anto yang berbagi sebuah link di plurk..
tentang poto2 suasana ramadhan diseluruh belahan dunia..
dari sekian banyak poto itu, 4 (kalo ga salah itung) dari indo..
jujur, poto2 nya menakjubkan..
makanya saya ingin berbagi disini..

foto pertama dari indonesia yang saya paling suka adalah tentang suasana solat jumat di mesjid istiqlal..
kita kadang suka lupa (saya lebih tepatnya) betapa besar mesjid ini..
dan betapa ia bisa menampung sebegini banyak orang..
Photo by: Irwin Fedriansyah

foto kedua adalah gambar seorang perempuan yang sedang mengaji di mesjid istiqlal..
sudut pengambilan gambarnya bagus kalo menurut saya mah (sok tau fotografi )
berikut lah gambarnya..
Photo by: Adek Berry
beranjak ke foto ketiga dari negara kita..
tentang gambar seorang anak laki2 yang tertidur didalam mesjid sambil nunggu waktunya berbuka..
kalo yang ini diambil dari sebuah mesjid di Makasar sana..
menggemaskan banget deeeeh..
terus poto ini juga cucok buat iklan cairan pembersih lantai
Photo by: Yusuf Ahmad

nah beranjak kita dari negeri tercinta..
poto pertama dari mancanegara yang saya suka banget..
sebuah penampakan sunset yang dengan latar depan (karna sunsetnya jadi latar belakang) Faisal Mosque, di Islamabad, Pakistan..
Photo by: Wally Santana.
gambar kedua adalah masih dari negeri seribu pakis.. (hihihi)
tepatnya dari kota Lahore,
gambar minuman berbuka mereka..
yang kebayang adalah sirop tjempolay campur susu
dan menurut sumber yang terpercaya katanya minuman ini emang terkenal banget dinegerinya sana..
dan katanya enak banget rasanya..
isinya mix fruit sherbat (ga tau nulisnya bener apa enggak) alias sari buah dicampur susu..
Photo by: Arif Ali

foto ketiga masih lagi2 dari negeri yang sama..
tentang makanan berbuka mereka yang disiapkan oleh seorang anak, dengan lokasi di Memon Mosque, Karachi.
yang saya bingung... apa itu porsi buat seorang?
kok tampak buanyak banget yaaa..
Photo by: Athar Hussain

Selanjutnya sebuah foto yang didedikasikan buat niken alias mbee..
yang menggambarkan tumpukan pisang!!
hehehe..
katanya permintaan akan pisang meningkat dibulan Ramadhan ini..
apa hubungannya kah?
tapi saya juga jadi rajin beli pisang di bulan ini..
buat ngeganjel kalo saurnya kurang kenyang
Still from Pakistan, Ismlamabad..
Photo by:Farooq Naeem

Nah foto yang terakhir pilihan saya jatuh pada negeri Palestina, tepatnya di daerah West Bank City, Ramallah.
tampilan seorang anak perempuan yang sedang melaksanakan taraweh..
tapi heran kok sendirian..
agak ga natural sih..
berasa diset gitu..
cuman saya mah teteup suka
Photo by: Muhammed Muheissen

Silahkan kalau ingin melihat2 lebih banyak poto bisa langsung ke alamat ini.

And let us spread the spirit of the holy month, Ramadhan..

birthday birthday

Start:	Sep 27, '08 12:00a
End:	Sep 27, '08 11:45p
Location:	still in AIT

selamat ulang taun ke seperempat abad lebih satu :)
semoga taun depan lebih baik dari taun kemarin..
amin

erase and rewind

You really want to turn back time..
And return to innocence..
You don't know how much i really want..
To rewind the life that we live..
Do what i did sooner..
And wish it would make something different..

But this is life..
And this is not the beginning of the end..

If you want then laugh..
If you must then cry..
Be yourself don't hide..
Just believe in destiny..
And be sure that you know
That i am here..
To fix you..

Another song from his most favorite band (if i can call them as a band) of all time..

. . .

Love..
Devotion..
Feeling..
Emotion..

Don't be afraid to be weak
Don't be too proud to be strong
Just look into your heart my friend
That will be the return to yourself
The return to innocence

The return to innocence

If you want, then start to laugh
If you must, then start to cry
Be yourself don't hide
Just believe in destiny

Don't care what people say
Just follow your own way
Don't give up and use the chance
To return to innocence

That's not the beginning of the end
That's the return to yourself
The return to innocence

To return to innocence.

Enigma - Return to innocence

beku

Love is a bird and she needs to fly
Let all the hurt inside of you die..
You waste your time with hate and regret..
Now there's no point in placing the blame..
Just do the things that you think is the best..
Things that you can do to make everything alright..

I only see what my eyes want to see..
How can life be what I want it to be..
I need to learn to deal with the reality..
And so do you..

i wish i can melt your heart..
but she hold the key..

We are like a melting ice cube that cannot escape its nature.
Yet, maybe that’s the most beautiful thing about us..

one of his favorite song..

. . .

You only see what your eyes want to see
How can life be what you want it to be
You're frozen
When your heart's not open

You're so consumed with how much you get
You waste your time with hate and regret
You're broken
When your heart's not open

Mm.. If I could melt your heart
Mm.. we'd never be apart
Mm.. give yourself to me
Mm.. you hold the key

Now there's no point in placing the blame
And you should know I suffer the same
If I lose you
My heart will be broken

Love is a bird, she needs to fly
Let all the hurt inside of you die
You're frozen
When your heart's not open

Mm.. if I could melt your heart
Mm.. we'd never be apart
Mm.. give yourself to me
Mm.. you hold the key

You only see what your eyes want to see
How can life be what you want it to be
You're frozen
When your heart's not open

Mm.. if I could melt your heart
Mm.. we'd never be apart
Mm.. give yourself to me
Mm.. you hold the key

Mm.. if I could melt your heart
Mm.. we'd never be apart
Mm.. give yourself to me
Mm.. you hold the key

If I could melt your heart..

Madonna - Frozen

reality strikes back

this early morning, i've tried to deny the reality for i don't know how many times..
pretending that i am in different situation..
that he is someone that he is not...
and we live in a different world and not the real one..
i am trying not to care for others but me..
yes, i am being selfish as always..

but tonight the reality strikes again..
and make me realize that even how hard you try to deny the reality..
it is still a reality..
reality, something that is real..
and it's ready to hits you when whenever you are not alert of it..
at your most unprepared moment..

today, reality wins from imaginer, K.O.

but hey, i am still learning to be a grown up..
i will be fine..
and i believe you will too..

welcome to this world.. the heartfruit of my love..

kangeun

bingung? sama..
saya juga ga pernah punya rencana bakal nge-post lagu dari kangen band..
tapi ini semua gara2 ando yang nge-plurk tentang lagu ini...
langsung saya cari di youtub, penasaran soalnya..

di tahun 2008 ini kangen band menelurkan album barunya yang berjudul "bintang 14 hari"..
Salah satu singlenya ya lagu ini..
menurut saya kualitas suaranya jauh membaik..
tapi ga tau beneran membaik atau sekadar teknik perekaman yang lebih bagus alias dimanipulasi..
tapi kualitas lagunya sendiri juga bagus..
meski awal denger asa familiar..
ternyata akhirnya saya menyimpulkan kalo mirip banget sama tipikal lagu peterpan yang dulu..
gaya nyanyinya pun mirip sama ariel, terutama dibagian refrain nya..

tapi secara keseluruhan saya menikmati lagunya kok..
meski masi gak nahan sama poni sang mas mas itu..
huehehehe..

gimana pendapat kalian?

. . .

Sejenak ku terdiam dan membisu
Membuatku lelah dan tanpa arah
Coba mengertilah
Coba pahamilah
Arti cinta sesungguhnya

Dan letakkan hatimu di sini
Ku berjanji kau tak kan kusakiti
Sejuk sepi sedang
Dan tanyakan bintang
Hanya kaulah yang ku sayang

Ku latih kau terbang di atas awan
Agar kau tegar dan tak terkalahkan
Jadilah jagoan seperti yang kuinginkan
Agar dapat kubanggakan

Namun sikapmu kini telah berubah
Membuatku resah dan serba salah
Kau berdiam diri membuat nadiku berhenti
Katakanlah hei kekasih

Coba kau pikirkan,
Coba kau renungkan
Apa yang kau inginkan telah aku lakukan

Coba kau pikirkan,
Coba kau renungkan
Tanya bintang-bintang hanya kaulah yang ku sayang

Coba kau katakan apa yang kau inginkan
Apa yang kau butuhkan telah aku berikan

Coba kau katakan apa yang kau inginkan...

Coba kau pikirkan
Coba kau renungkan
Apa yang kau inginkan telah aku lakukan

Coba kau pikirkan
Coba kau renungkan
Tanya bintang-bintang hanya kaulah yang ku sayang

Coba kau katakan apa yang kau inginkan
Apa yang kau butuhkan telah aku berikan

Coba kau katakan apa yang kau inginkan

Coba kau pikirkan
Coba kau renungkan
Apa yang kau butuhkan telah aku berikan

Coba kau pikirkan
Coba kau renungkan
Tanya bintang-bintang hanya kaulah yang ku sayang

Coba kau katakan apa yang kau inginkan
Apa yang kau butuhkan telah aku berikan

Coba kau katakan apa yang kau inginkan...

Kangen Band - Doy

proposal defense!!!!!!!!!

Start:	Sep 30, '08 3:00p
End:	Sep 30, '08 4:00p
Location:	UEM meeting room

doakan saya!

semoga lebarannya ga tanggal 30..
hihihihi

if

what if, what if, what if..

if you're not..
will it be better..

if you're not..
will it be worst..

keep thinking of what if..
but what if never comes..

i know i should stop thinking..
everything happens for a reason..
yes, i do believe..

selingkuh

Selingkuh itu indah..
Tapi sayang tidak untuk selamanya..

untuk perselingkuhan kita
ketika aku menjadi sang gadis berkepang dua..

. . .

Betapa ku mengerti
sebagai selingkuhan mu
ku harus menjalani
ikatan yang tersembunyi

Ku mencoba bertahan
meskipun menyakitkan
tak menyisakan sebuah sesal
di hati ku

Selama aku bisa
membuat mu bahagia
berpaling ku tak mungkin
singgahi hati yang lain

Sebatas harapan ku
mohon pengertian mu
bahwa ku ingin memiliki mu
seutuhnya

Seiring berlalu
bergulirnya waktu
membuka rahasia
diantara kita

Pastinya kan ada
hati yang terluka
tak menerima semua kenyataan yang ada

Namun tak selayaknya
perselingkuhan ini
yang lama ku lalui
menjadi tiada berarti

Semenjak ku merasa
harap mu sia-sia
hingga terluka hati kan membuat mu
tak berdaya

Mungkin ku relakan
untuk kau tinggalkan
diri ku disini
harus mengakhiri

Aku yang merasa
lelah dan menyerah
karna tak selamanya selingkuh itu indah

Biarkan cerita kita
terpisah adanya
Bila memang kita
tak mungkin bersama
selamanya

Seiring berlalu
bergulirnya waktu
membuka rahasia
diantara kita

Pastinya kan ada
hati yang terluka
tak menerima semua kenyataan yang ada

Mungkin ku relakan
untuk kau tinggalkan
diri ku disini
harus mengakhiri

Aku yang merasa
lelah dan menyerah
karna tak selamanya selingkuh itu indah

Betapa ku mengerti
sebagai selingkuhan mu
ku harus menjalani
ikatan yang tersembunyi

Merpati Band - Tak selamanya selingkuh itu indah

teruntuk

untuk sesuatu yang kita mulai terlambat..
untuk sesuatu yang kita mulai dengan ragu-ragu..
untuk sesuatu yang kita mulai meski tak ada waktu..
untuk sesuatu yang kita mulai lagi pagi ini..

yang kemarin bukanlah akhir cerita kita
tapi sebuah pembelajaran untuk tidak memulai dengan terburu-buru..

cukup perlahan tapi pasti
alon-alon asal kelakon :)

. . .

Kiss me out of the bearded barley
Nightly, beside the green, green grass
Swing, swing, swing the spinning step
You wear those shoes and I will wear that dress.

Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight
Lead me out on the moonlit floor
Lift your open hand
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance
Silver moon's sparkling
So kiss me

Kiss me down by the broken tree house
Swing me upon its hanging tire
Bring, bring, bring your flowered hat
We'll take the trail marked on your father's map

Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight
Lead me out on the moonlit floor
Lift your open hand
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance
Silver moon's sparkling
So kiss me

Kiss me beneath the milky twilight
Lead me out on the moonlit floor
Lift your open hand
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance
Silver moon's sparkling
So kiss me
So kiss me
So kiss me
So kiss me

Sixpence None the Richer - Kiss me

downstairs neighbor's alarm

what a cheezy song!
so why do i post it here?

well.. don't blame me..
it's the downstairs neighbor's fault..
i've been hearing this song since 5 am..
and it keep on repeating until.. now.. almost 7..
no wonder!
who the hell use this song as an alarm sound?
r u kidding me???

but actually this is a guilty pleasure song for me..
and yes, i do admit that there is a time when i like this song..
yes.. i actually like this song..
well, it was the beginning of the year of the millenia..
no wonder.. ;p

so for the sake of contaminating others
i would like to share this song..
enjoy :)

. . .

well i wonder could it be
when i was dreaming 'bout you baby
you were dreaming of me

call me crazy
call me blind
to still be suffering is stupid after all of this time

did i lose my love to someone better
and does she loves you like i do
i do
you know i really really do

well hey
so much i need to say
been lonely since the day
the day you went away

so sad but true
for me there's only you
been crying since the day
the day you went away

i remember date and time
september twenty second
sunday
twenty five after nine

in the doorway with your case
no longer shouting at each other
there were tears on our faces

and we were letting go of something special
something we'll never have again
i know
i guess i really really know

well hey
so much i need to say
been lonely since the day
the day you went away

so sad but true
for me there's only you
been crying since the day
the day you went away
the day you went away
the day you went away

did i lose my love to someone better
and does she lobe you like i do
i do
i really really do

well hey
so much i need to say
been lonely since the day
the day you went away

so sad but true
for me there's only you
been crying since the day
the day you went away

why do we never know what we've got 'till its gone
how could i carry on
the day you went away

cause i've been missing you so much i have to say
been crying since the day
the day you went away
the day you went away
the day you went away

M2M - the day you went away

the sweetest taboo

There's a quiet storm, and it never felt like this before
There's a quiet storm, that is you
Giving me something that's taboo
Sometimes I think you're just too good for me

You give me the sweetest taboo
That's why I'm in love with you

. . .

If I tell you
If I tell you now
Will you keep on
Will you keep on loving me

If I tell you
If I tell you how I feel
Will you keep bringing out the best in me

You give me, you give me the sweetest taboo
You give me, you're giving me the sweetest taboo
Too good for me

There's a quiet storm
And it never felt like this before
There's a quiet storm
That is you
There's a quiet storm
And I never felt this hot before
Giving me something that's taboo
Sometimes I think you're just too good for me

You give me the sweetest taboo
That's why I'm in love with you
You give me the sweetest taboo
Too good for me
Sometimes I think you're just too good for me

I'd do anything for you, I'd stand out in the rain
Anything you want me to do, don't let it slip away

There's a quiet storm
And it never felt like this before
There's a quiet storm
I think it's you
There's a quiet storm
And I never felt this hot before
Giving me something that's taboo

You give me the weetest taboo
That's why I'm in love with you (with you)
You give me, keep giving me the sweetest taboo
Too good for me

You've got the biggest heart
Sometimes I think you're just too good for me
Every day is christmast, and every night is new year's Eve

Will you keep on loving me
Will you keep on, will you keep on
Bringing out the best in me

Sade - The Sweetest Taboo

never find..

I'm not her, and never be her
maybe i'm better, but all things that you want is not in me

you might not know how big my love is
and maybe its not meant for you to have
one thing for sure,
you'll never find another love like mine

. . .

you'll never find as long as you live
someone who loves you tender like i do
and you'll never find no matter where you search
someone who cares about you the way i do

and no i'm not bragging on my self, baby
cause i'm the one who love you
and there is no one else
no, no one else

and you'll never find it will take the end of all time
someone who understands you like i do
and no i'm not try to make you stay baby
cause i'm the one who love you and no one else
no, no one else

you're gonna miss my love baby, you're gonna miss my love
you're gonna miss my love, you're gonna miss my love
you're gonna miss my love baby, you're gonna miss my love
yes you are..

and you'll never find another love like mine
someone who needs you like i do
and no i'm not bragging on my self baby
and i'm the one who love you
and there's no one else
there's just no one else

you're gonna miss my love, i'm gonna miss your love
you're gonna miss my love
you're gonna miss my love..

Michael Buble & Laura Pausini - You ll Never Find Another Love Like Mine

i love you still..

forgive me,
for i not able to keep my promise..
cause i can't stop my self from loving you...
and it will be a lie not to say..
cause i love you more each day..

even though what if thinking won't change anything
but i can't stop wondering
what would it be if we meet sooner
will it did any better
and will it be me, your chosen partner

we meet at the wrong time,
but no one i will blame
because you i won't trade
even with a thousand gem

happy birthday my dear kangmas..

. . .

Sekian lama kita bersama
diantara banyak peristiwa
sering aku tak mengerti
perasaanku padamu

mungkinkah ini tandanya cinta
ataukah perasaanku saja
kini baru kusadari
yang sesungguhnya terjadi

ternyata aku makin cinta
cinta sama kamu
hanya kamu seorang, kasih
ku tak mau yang lain
hanya sama kamu
kamu yang terakhir yang ku cinta

mungkinkah ini tandanya cinta
ataukah perasaanku saja
kini baru kusadari
yang sesungguhnya terjadi

ternyata aku makin cinta
cinta sama kamu
hanya kamu seorang, kasih
ku tak mau yang lain
hanya sama kamu
kamu yang terakhir yang ku cinta

ternyata aku makin cinta
cinta sama kamu
hanya kamu seorang kasihku...
kamu yang terakhir yang ku cinta

Vina Panduwinata - Aku Makin Cinta

bak orang kurang kerjaan

paling suka sama yang ini!

akibat kemaren sukses ketemu advisor, semangat ngerjain thesis langsung pudar..
biasalah, namanya juga deadliners, kalo ga ada tantangan (alias keterpaksaan) jadi aja malesnya kumat..

sebenernya dalam dua minggu ini banyak yang musti diselesein..
tapi yang ada malah berkeliling dunia maya..
dan akibat postingan kanti di fesbuk, jadi aja ketularan..

ini lah dia kumpulan gambar saya hasil rekayasa dari www.yearbookyourself.com.

gimana, cucok tak? :D

gak suka, gak suka!

saya paling ga suka kalo nanya trus ga dijawap..
apalagi buat pertanyaan yang gak esensial..
yang ga segitu personalnya buat dirahasiain dan sebenernya juga gak segitu pentingnya buat dijawap..

just a simple question like:
"mau pada kemanakah?" (cara ngomong bahasa indo ala orang thai)
atooo:
"eeeeh lagi ngomongin apa barusan?"
atoooo if in the middle of a conversation i ask for an explanation of "a new term"..

tapi kalo pertanyaan yang ga penting itu dijawap dengan kalimat:
"ada deeeeh"
or worst dengan:
"kasi tau gak yaaaa"
itu bikin bete ga ketulungan..
dan dibalik kebetean itu ada perasaan being left behind..

apalagi saya tau sebenernya those people who did that aforementioned things only do that to tease me..
but still..
masalah lu apa sih???!

*pundungan and sensitive mode ON, akibat kurang tidur dan setres yang berkepanjangan*

tua vs muda

ada bedanya istri tua sama istri muda?

kalo menurut saya istri tua mendapat lebih banyak untuk bersama..
istilahnya more quality time..
trus juga serve lebih banyak..
tau lebih banyak...
dan semuanya lebih deh..

tapi istri muda dapet pasion..
and that sparkling feelings called love butteflies..

kenapa saya lagi berasa jadi istri tua ya?????????
i spent more time with him than her..
and he ask for it..
i know him more than her..
i understand him more than her..
even when he didnt say it out loud..
she even jealous when she sees us together..
sometimes i cant make my self stop wonder,
how we will end if you dont have him..
will you still be with her?

tapi ya gimana.. i enjoy being his "istri tua"...
dan ada saat2 dimana saya berasa emang butuh dia..
terutama kayak sekarang..
dimana teman2 yang lain culas dan menyebalkan...
when those who i called friends keep doing things that i dont like..
and leaving me behind..

him is the place where i can run into..
and just dipped my face into his back..
trying my best not to cry..

sigh..

if i have to choose between him and my friends here..
i definitely will choose him..
because he really know how to treat me right..
and he never deny me..

sigh..

why it had to be you?

*pundungan nan sensitive mode ON*

reality

Quote of the day:

"In life there are a lot of big romantic moments..
And they make life worth living..
But moments pass..
And lurking just around the corner from those moments is a cruel, unshaven bastard named reality."

-taken from How I met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 13..

Our moments have passed... and leave us only that cruel reality..
but hey, i believe that you will never find another love like mine
(as said by Michael Bubble, and quoted by iren )
yes.. it is your loss.. not mine..