hand-coke

a bottle of coke has saved me..
i never love coke this much before in my whole life..
now im on my way to finish my 1.5 liter of coke

munggah puasa with coke..

amazingly

it is amazing how i can survive this day..
watching you holding her hand..
watching you hugging her shoulder..
watching you throwing jokes to her..
watching you teasing her..
watching you wishpering words to her ears..
watching you planning your future dreams with her..
and watching your eyes staring her eyes deeply..
watching you both..

it is amazing how i can accept the fact that you will never be mine..
yes, i know you will never be mine..
i realize that i only had you in that precious moment we spent together..
when you really give your heart to me..
or are you really?
and when another fact raise up this evening,
that i am really not having yours,
really making me realize that i will never be with you..
i keep watching your back.. walking in front of me.. next to her..
and i know there is no way back for you, for her, for him, and for me..

it is amazing how i can still smile after all of these things..
even i smiled sincerely..

i keep repeating that magical moment i spent with you in my mind..
i keep visualizing it over and over again..
until i remember every minute and even every second we spent..
when the world is all ours..
when we dont care about others than we..
when i still keep believing that
it couldnt be her..
and it couldnt be yours..

but it is her..
and it is yours..
and they will have you for the rest of their lives..
and not me..

it is feels like im babysitting two grown ups (quoting you, min)
and i keep saying that this is enough..
i had enough..
and i dont want any of this anymore..
but i cant..
i cant get away from this melodrama telenovela thingy..

oh God..
what i have made my self trapped into..
sigh..

gold versus diamond

a friend of mine once said that friend is like gold while love is like diamond..
and then i asked:
"so, is it mean that your love is more precious than your friend"

he replied:
"noooooooooo....
the meaning is when a friendship breaks, you can fix it.. just like gold.. when it breaks, you can melt it and have the same shape.
while if your love relationship breaks, your heart break, or you break your love's heart, it will be like diamond.. you wont be able to re-attach into the same form without leaving any mark.. even though it looks the same from outside, still there are some cracks inside.."

i am sorry for breaking your diamond..
and not able to re-attach it..
how hard i try..

look!

look what I've done..
I've made a fool of everyone
it seems like such fun until i lose what i had won..

no more playing games with people's feeling..
i've learned valuable lessons..

selamat datang babak baru kehidupan!

. . .

Take my photo off the wall if it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away and there's nothing there for you to prove

oh, look what you've done you've made a fool of everyone
oh well, it seems like such fun until you lose what you had won

give me back my point of view 'cause I just can't think for you
I can hardly hear you say what should I do, oh well you choose

oh, look what you've done you've made a fool of everyone
oh well, it seems like such fun until you lose what you had won

oh, look what you've done you've made a fool of everyone
a fool of everyone..
a fool of everyone..

take my photo off the wall if it just won't sing for you
'cause all that's left has gone away and there's nothing there for you to do

oh, look what you've done you've made a fool of everyone
oh well, it seems like such fun until you lose what you had won

oh, look what you've done you've made a fool of everyone
a fool of everyone
a fool of everyone

Look what you've done - Jet

FINISH

all finish..
everybody happy...

hm hm hm..
mungkin ga semua orang juga si...

im sorry for being a hell selfish jerk,
but i cant find other way..

some..

some people really waiting for this, even for years..
some are forcely having it..
and some really dont want it..

i am not one of them..
i want.. really want..
but not now..
not yet..

but why cant i have a regular one..

deep down it hides...

for all the things that hide under the lies..

. . .

They reach beside
A leech to find
I dreamed of this so long
This used to feel so strong

Now I wait
Wish these thoughts would go away
I hope I dream of you
Cause it's taking my life away

No I don't hate
But these thoughts won't go away
I hope I dream of you
Cause it's taking my life away

Deep down it hides
Making life a grind
I dreamed of this so long
This used to feel so strong

Now I wait
Wish these thoughts would go away
I hope I dream of you
Cause it's taking my life away

No I don't hate
But these thoughts won't go away
I hope I dream of you
Cause it's taking my life away

Deep down it hides...

Now I wait
Wish these thoughts would go away
I hope I dream of you
Cause it's taking my life away

No I don't hate
But these thoughts won't go away
I hope I dream of you
Cause it's taking my life away

Default - (Taking My) Life Away

nyanyian hati

if my heart can sing, maybe it will sing like this..
but too bad.. it doesn't feel like singing right now..

. . .

aku bernyanyi,
di dalam hati,
senandung rindu,
kepadamu pujaan ku,

bila kah nanti,
kau kan mengerti,
maksud hati ku,
untuk saling memiliki,

aku ingin,
rasa indah kan hadir untuk ku,
meluluhkan mimipi mimpi,

tak berhenti,
jiwa ini menanti dirimu,
berjanji setia pada mu,
dalam setiap detik ku,

Tuhan tolonglah,
buka hati nya,
agar ku dapat bahagia,
bersamanya,

tak ku ingkari,
dia tak sendiri,
tapi ku tahu apa yang tlah dia rasakan,

aku ingin,
rasa indah kan hadir untuk ku,
meluluhkan mimpi mimpi,

tak berhenti,
jiwa ini menanti dirimu,
berjanji setia padamu,
dalam setiap detik ku,

aku ingin,
rasa indah kan hadir untuk ku,
meluluhkan mimpi mimpi,

tak berhenti,
jiwa ini menanti dirimu,
berjanji setia pada mu,
dalam setiap detik ku,

aku bernyanyi,
di dalam hati,
senandung rindu,

Tohpati feat Putu Sutha - Senandung Rindu

threesome

i did what i think is right..
i lied for the last time..
i lie by telling that i've lied..
and hoping this lie can bring her back to him..

yes, i think it is the best, for him, for her, and for me..
finally, i end this relationship..

three is never good..

i am sorry for coming to your life and being a tsunami for you..
i am sorry for telling you the truth and lie to you that it is not the truth..
and i am sorry to my self for not taking care of me properly..
i am sorry..

pelangi dilangit ait

beberapa waktu yang lalu saya pernah posting soal pelangi mbulat..
ternyata hari ini saya diberi kesempatan untuk menyaksikannya secara langsung di langit ait..
berkat jasa seorang teman yang tiba2 mengirimkan pesan singkat dilayar leptop saya menyuruh saya untuk melihat kematahari di langit luar..

dan disana terpampanglah sebuah pelangi mbulat..
mengelilingi sang matahari dengan lingkaran yang sempurna..
namun matahari sedang bersinar dengan sangat cerahnya, membuat cukup sulit menikmati keberadaan sang pelangi..

apakah ini tanda bahwa pelangi saya pun sudah muncul dari mendung yang sebelumnya mengelayut?

atau bulatnya pelangi ini menandakan bahwa keberuntungan saya belum tiba, karena saya belum dapat menemukan harta karun yang terletak diujung pelangi,
dan juga menandakan bahwa it isnt over yet..
and the end is not even near.. not yet..

maybe..

ait, penampakan dilihat dari depan sv19b, hari ini, tepat pukul 12 siang

hancur

melihat dia hancur menyadarkan saya bahwa langkah yang saya ambil salah..
tak ada habisnya saya menyesali semua perbuatan saya..
tak ada habisnya kata maaf saya lontarkan, pada nya, pada nya, dan pada diri saya sendiri..
meski saya akui memang sudah niat saya menghancurkan hubungan itu, tapi tetap saya masih punya hati nurani..
apalagi ketika saya harus memilih antara hati mereka yang hancur atau hati saya yang hancur..
feels like two against one..
it's not fair, but life is not always about fairness..
i'm glad it's not about democracy..
but still..

I know this is the responsibility that i should take for what i have done..
I am crushed and shredded into pieces,
but hey, i will be fine when the sun start to shine (even though i dont know in which part of the earth it will be)

God, You know what is best for me, for him, for her, for all of us..
please lead us to the right path of Yours..

humanity

when my love one is hurted, and feel crushed,
all i want to do is cure him..
even though it hurts me.. more then he was hurted before..
why, love, oh why..

sigh...

lately i have a bad habit..
i create a thinking that everytime we spent is our last time..
and that thinking has bad impact on me..
sigh...
i'm not suppose to think like that..
and i'm not suppose to give you my everything..
isn't it?
sigh...

my fruit

biasalah, kalo lagi mo fokus ke kerjaan (aka thesis) selalu aja ada yang lebih penting buat dikerjain..
salah satunya ya apa lagi kalo bukan ngerjain kuis kuisan

untuk kuis yang ini saya gak bisa ngasih linknya..
karena ini termasuk kuis yang ada di facebook..

pertanyaan kuisnya begini:
What kind of fruit are you?

dan setelah menjawab beberapa pertanyaan, ini lah jawaban tipe buah saya:

I'm Banana!
You are a softie! Loving, gentle, warm and sympathetic by nature is the banana lover. You often lack in self-confidence and are quite timid by nature. People often take advantage of your sweet temperedness, and sheer vulnerability to a situation. You adore your partner both for their mental and physical beauty! Your relationship is always in harmony!

and yes.. i do like banana! any kind of it..

reality

reality sucks..
reality hurts..

ความเป็นจริง:หมองใจ

perasaan

perasaan kapasitas perut saya mengecil..
tapi kenapa kok perasaan perut ini mangkin buncit ya..
sigh..
apa mulai perlu rangkaian sit ap lagi?

air pollution caused by a one night show

China has been struggling so hard to reduce their air pollution for this Olympic game.
But, how much do you think additional air pollution is produce by that huge torch of eternal flame?

Beijing 2008 Olympics

91 thousand people inside the stadium
2008 drummers
And many more..

A magical opening ceremony..
enjoy..

berondong girang

belakangan ini suka ada yang miskol2 ke nomer hape indo saya..
yang ada saya gak tau nomor si empunya miskol siapa, wong kecatetnya pasti private number lah, no number lah, withheld lah.. begitu lah..
gemes banget rasanya!
hello.. hello.. who ever you are...
gak tau apa kalo saya gak akan ngangkat, soalnya bakal kena biaya yang besarnya saya juga gak tau (roaming booook roaming!)
rugi banget deh pokoknya!
penasaran? banget!
siapa coba yang begitu setianya menelponi diriku..
bodohnya lagi kenapa juga dia gak kirim sms.. udah tau saya tidak bisa dihubungi..

naaaah, ternyata rasa penasaran saya ini emang gak kontrol banget!
akhirnya barusan saya angkat aja tu telpon..
dan ternyata si penelpon bener2 cuman pengen miskol..
dan akhirnya dia ngsms..

sialnya lagi sms pertama dibuka dengan kalimat "Met mlm..btul ini dngn tante girang?"
udah mau emosi sebenernya.. tapi saya masi khusnudzon..
mungkin aja ini temen saya yang lagi ngerjain..
akhirnya saya jabanin deh ni sms..

sms punya sms, ternyata..
dia itu berondong dengan usia 19 tahun!!!!
dan yang lebih parahnya lagi..
bocah lelaki asal KENDARI ini mengharapkan saya bisa menjadi teman curhatnya..
belum lagi gaya tulisannya yang menyelipkan hurup x dimana2.. emangnya lagi musim yah?

sumpah..
saya langsung ketawa terpingkal2..
emang hari gini masi ada aja ya orang2 yang mau ngeladenin sms kayak beginian?
unbelievable!!

akhirnya menjadi seseorang yang dewasa wahana persmsan ini saya tutup dengan wejangan:
"iya, saya tante girang, umur 60taun, dan ga punya waktu buat dengerin curhat kamu!Coba kamu cari 'temen beneran' buat diajak tuker pikiran dan curhat. ok. gutlak!"

tiba2 tu bocah miskol lagi, dan akhirnya melayangkan pesan singkat:
"Tpi aq pingnx ma kmu..aq syg ma kmu meskipun kmu uda menikh..ga apa2kn law aq cnta ma kmu.?"

oh GOD!
udah kayak apa si dunia per berondongan jalan sekarang?

maaf ya dik kecil.. smsnya gak kakak bales lagi.. sayang pulsa euy

[hilang deh jatah ngsms saya buat bulan ini.. sigh!]

dikerumuni orang orang aneh

Caution: Ketika membaca postingan ini beberapa orang mungkin akan berpikiran kalo saya orangnya suka kege eran.. Ya abis gimana.. Suka2 dong ya.. Kalo gak suka ya gak usah dibaca..


Jadi begini ceritanya,
saya baru sadar kenapa nasip saya jelek bener..
bukannya tidak mesyukuri anugerah sang maha pencipta, tapi entah sejak kapan saya ini ternyata bagai magnet yang menarik orang2 aneh.. Sampe kadang saya jadi males sendiri..
Saya akan memberikan tiga contoh kongkrit..

pengalaman pertama dengan orang aneh saya alami beberapa tahun yang lalu..
waktu itu saya lagi ikut training (bahasa gaul dari pelatihan) di kei el (KL maksutnya).
kebetulan waktu itu ternyata ada training lain yang diselenggarakan pada saat yang sama.
disanalah saya mengenal A (bukan nama asli.. ya iya laaah, masa ya iya dong! ). A adalah pria berkewarganegaraan Bhutan dengan penampakan seperti orang Cina campur vietnam (nah looo..).. kebetulan dia tidak satu training dengan saya, tapi ntah kenapa dia demen banget sama saya!
Awalnya biasa, permainan Princess (karna nama saya putri) dan Prince. Jadi dia ngaku2 kalo dia itu prince of Bhutan dan saya ini Princessnya..
Awalnya sih lucu2an aja (paling gak buat saya, gak tau buat dia gimana), tapi kok lama2 dianya serius, ampe ngomongin nikah segala..
mampus gw! padahal kan waktu itu saya masih kecil (kikikik)..
untungnya saya selese treining duluan dan sukses kabur dari prince of bhutan ini..

nah buat pengalaman kedua ini rada baru..
sekitar akhir juni kemaren..
yup, waktu lagi ikutan jalan2 ikut camp ke Chantaburi..
bertemu lah saya disana dengan seorang pria asal usbek..
sebenernya pertemuan kami sudah sejak agak lama, namun saya tidak bisa berkata bahwa pertemuan itu adalah sebuah perkenalan.. karena jujur aja saya gak kenal sama dia..
dulu awalnya dia lagi jalan sama ketua msa asal paki ini (muslim student association) yang notabene orangnya rada gak terlalu setrik gitu (yah meski berjenggot panjang dan bercelana ngatung tapi dia masi mau menatap dan menyapa para sister ini)..
nah si ketua msa itu tau kalo saya ini muslim dan dari indo, jadilah dia waktu itu menyapa "Assalamu'alaikum.. Apa kabar".. gitu katanya..
nah sejak itu si laki-laki usbek ini suka bertukar salam ketika bertemu saya.. "Assalamu'alaikum" katanya, dan saya pun menjawap "Wa'alaikumsalam"..
kadang dia juga suka menambahkan pertanyaan "apa kabar".. mentang2 udah belajar dari sang ketua msa tampaknya..
Nah, di camp inilah dia mulai mengeluarkan jurus keanehannya..
awalnya sih cuman genit2 biasa..
tapi lama2 kok jadi tidak biasa.. malah agak luar biasa..
dan puncaknya adalah ketika dia berkata "i really like indonesian girls, i want to marry one someday"..
saya hanya bisa berkomentar "oooh bagus itu"..
eh dia nyaut lagi "are you tied up?".. langsung sebel dengernya.. lu kira gw kambing apa pake diiket2 segala.. gitu pikir saya dalam hati..
dan parahnya dia nanya pas saya lagi sama kangmas, cuman kangmas waktu itu lagi ngembaliin piring kotor (kan kita abis makan siang ceritanya)..
gak dianggep apa tuh orang? (cieeeh)
sayang waktu itu mut saya lagi jelek, jadi cuman bisa melongo denger kata2 dia..
udah gitu mana ada temennya yang gak kalah aneh yang bernama "si kakek" yang dengan tampang genitnya manas2in "net yet, right?".. diulang2 mlulu..
sayang lagi2 karna mut saya kurang bagus saya jadi gak bisa mengeluarkan tanggapan yang gimanaaa gitu..
yang ada saya malah langsung pergi sampe bikin kangmas bertanya2 ada apakah gerangan..

dan keanehannya ni orang usbek gak cuman sampe situ..
dilain waktu, masi di camp yang sama, saya lagi duduk termenung sendirian.. cape boow.. nah si orang aneh ini lagi ngaso di gazebo, sambil nyetel lagu berirama padang pasir pake toa (yup, pake toa, makin aneh gak sih??).. dan dia dengan pedenya manggil2 saya pake toa..
"putri... putriii.." gitu panggilnya..
kan saya males saya cuekin.. eh tiba2 ada temen saya dateng bergabung, langsung deh saya sok sok sibuk ngobrol sama si temen..
eh dia (si orang aneh) marah dong sambil teriak "PUTRA!"..
akhirnya kan saya noleh..
eh dia langsung baek lagi dan bilang "why do you look so sad today.." dan beberapa kalimat lain yang dia ucapkan kayak kumur2 gitu..
booo.. itu masi pake toa lo.. penting ya??
saya cuman bisa tersenyum saja dan meyakinkan diri buat gak ngelempar tu orang pake sendal..
untungnya kalo kita ketemu sekarang dia gak terlalu gimana2 gitu,.. apalagi karna saya selalu berjalan bergerombol.. hihihihi..
paling dia suka ketauan ngeliatin aja..

naaaah..
contoh kongkrit ketiganya baruu aja saya alamin kemaren..
saat itu saya sedang mengabdikan diri buat jadi volunteer buat 'nanganin' anak2 mahasiswa baru di depan sao..
bertemu lah saya dengan seorang pria berkebangsaan B (alias banglades ) yang saat itu juga manjadi relawan..
dari awal saya udah males sama ni orang.. abis genit! baru deh saya ngerasain pengalaman digenitin sama orang b padahal udah sering denger kalo orang b itu genit2..
nah waktu mo dibeliin makan siang saya ditanya sama seorang teman "kamu ada pantangan makan gak?" dan saya pun menjawap "no pok" alias no pork..
nah disini lah orang b itu mulai beraksi "are you muslim?"
dan saya menanggapi "yes" dengan gaya seperlunya aja..
eeeh dia pun menyahut "i really like indonesian muslim"
dan dia mulai senyum2 gak jelas gitu.. sambil setelah itu berusaha melontarkan jokes2 yang gak lucu.. tak lupa dibarengi dengan tatapan genitnya..
saya sangka saya aman ketika saya kabur dengan alasan ada kerjaan lain (thanks to prof amin!)
eeh ternyata sorenya ketemu lagi didepan 108, sebuah convenient store didalam kampus yang bagai circle k gitu.
si pria b ini memakai baju b dengan warna pink terang..
dan dia langsung nyamperin sambil bilang "besok kita sama2 ke airport buat jemput anak baru kan"
dengan polosnya saya menjawap "enggak tuh"
dan dia langsung panik "kok enggak?"
dan saya dengan tenang menjawap "kan saya gak ikutan relawan bagian penjemputan, saya sibuk" deuh gaya bener yaaa..
dan dia langsung dengan muka memelas bilang "yaah.. saya sangka kita bisa menghabiskan waktu berdua disana"
WEEKKK?????
yang bener aje lu!

duh, andaikan saya bisa mengganti magnet ini dengan magnet penarik orang2 ganteng yang saya gemari (hehehe)..
ah, asalkan berbeda kutub dengan magnetnya kangmas gak papa deh
kan dua kutub yang berbeda saling tarik menarik..

ฉันรักคุณ

pronounce in english as: "Chan rak khoon"
pronounce in indonesian as: "chan rak khun"
means: "I love you"

if you want to say "i love you so much!"
you can add "maak leeuy" (indonesian: "mak loei")

"maak" means very much
and "leeuy" is used to create an emphasis at the end of a statement (exaggerating?)

however, the word "khoon" gives formal impression.
to make it more informal (u dont use formal language with your love ones, don't you?)
you can change the word "khoon" into "thuuhr" (indonesian: "thoe")

chan rak thuuhr maak leeuy
i love you soooo much!

ฉัน รัก เทอ มาก เลย!

sekian pelajaran hari ini.

quizes

yep,
just finish doing my personality quizes...

the first one is to describe my personality types.
The test is based on Carl Jung's theory of psychological types and the personality research of Isabel Briggs Myers and Katharine Cook Briggs.

Carl Jung's theory of psychological types says each person is "wired" with different tendencies and preferences. Some of us are "extraverted" while others are "introverted", some are "thinkers" while others are "feelers", and so on.

There are 16 distinct personality types, each belonging to one of four temperaments as organized by David Keirsey.
from these 16 available types, i'm included in ENFP type, 'the advocate' with temprament type of "visionary" (wow!)..



NFs (or the visionaries) are introspective, intuitive and highly idealistic. They are subjective, compassionate "feeler" people that desire to contribute goodness and meaning to the lives of others. They are effective at doing this through their nurturing, insightful and encouraging nature. NFs despise conflict. They will do everything they can to make sure their loved ones get along with each other and are happy. NFs are imaginitive, creatively inclined and passionate about their choice causes.

while ENFPs (or the advocates) are introspective, values-oriented, inspiring, social and extremely expressive. They actively send their thoughts and ideas out into the world as a way to bring attention to what they feel to be important, which often has to do with ethics and current events. ENFPs are natural advocates, attracting people to themselves and their cause with excellent people skills, warmth, energy and positivity. ENFPs are described as creative, resourceful, assertive, spontaneous, life-loving, charismatic, passionate and experimental.

hmm...
is it CORRECT?

i am counting to my heart and feelings more than my head..
and this sentence:
They will do everything they can to make sure their loved ones get along with each other and are happy
is GW BANGET!

i do like to do self introspection.. i spend a lot of time to think, even the un-necessary things
i am inspiring (hahaha), and extremely expressive..
so, it quite true..

the second test is to describe my self according to my multiple intelligences, to discover my learning style..

Multiple Intelligences is Howard Gardner's psychological theory about people and their different types of intelligences (logical, visual, musical, etc.). The test is suppose to help me discover my strongest types of intelligence and how these types helps me to learn.

From 8 types of intelligence, i'm one of the people with interpersonal intelligence, who are adept at looking inward (they said).



you can try these quizes by visiting this website: http://www.mypersonality.info/

Chantaburi Trip

sejumput poto2 paporit dari Chantaburi Trip, June 26-29, 2008..

yes, most of them already posted in the blog page..

cubicle ku

sebenernya tau lagu ini udah lama banget,
lebih dari setaun yang lalu..
waktu pertama kali denger ini saya masih terdampar didalam cubicle mini namun menyenangkan itu (karna letaknya deket sama meja tempat orang2 naro makanan.. hihihihi)

terus kemaren ngomongin lagu ini sama muy..
ternyata dia gak tau ini lagu..
sayangnya karna harddisk rusak jadi aja lagunya ikut ilang..
eh di yutub ada yang bikin vclipnya, kocak juga...

a song dedicated to those who spend most of their time in their cubicle :)

. . .

My job is stupid
My day’s a bore,
Inside this office
From eight to four

Nothin’ ever happens
My life is pretty bland,
Pretending that I’m working
Pray I don’t get canned.

My Cubicle, My Cubicle
It’s one of sixty-two
It’s my small space
In a crowded place
Just a six-by-six board booth
And I hate it that’s the truth

Well I give a sigh as the boss walks by
No one ever talks to me or looks me in the eye
And I really should work but instead
I just sit here and surf the Internet.

In My Cubicle, My Cubicle
It doesn’t have a view.
It’s my small space
In a crowded place
I sit inside there too.
And sometimes I sit here nude

My Cubicle
Written by Morning Sidekick
Performed by Jym Britton
Parody of "You’re Beautiful" by James Blunt

sing sabar

five days to go..